In this episode of Creative Chat Cafe, Zef and Sondra host Judy Goss, an influential journalist and host navigating the entrepreneurial world through her organization, Over 40 Females. We ask Mrs. Goss about her organization, which seeks to connect incredible women with other incredible women through networking, as well as about her relationship with her husband and how spousal support and balance is important.
About Our Guest:
Judy Goss is the founder of Over 40 Females, a nationally acclaimed networking organization for women. Mrs. Goss is also an experienced TV personality and radio show host who has interviewed celebrities and she has appeared on countless TV shows as a news correspondent, lifestyle expert, author, spokesperson, and women's advocate. Mrs. Goss is currently the host of “What Women Want” on LA Talk Radio with 30,000 listeners/month.
Some Key Points of Discussion in this Episode:
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YouTube Table of Contents (click on the minute timeline on YouTube's video description for the specific content):
00:51 - Greetings & introductions.
01:39 - Judy Goss of www.JudyGoss.com.
04:55 - Getting the inspiration and support for a new business.
07:57 - Overcoming the pre-conceived notion of how women share information.
09:38 - Creating the balance within a spousal relationship.
11:37 - How to maximize support from a partner or loved one.
14:02 - Why it is important to learn a partner or spouse's business style and how it can help you achieve better results.
16:19 - Why understanding who you are is important in succeeding in business.
19:34 - Show recap.
20:17 - How to benefit from your spouse's strengths.
21:28 - The importance of understanding how to complement our spouse's strengths.
23:40 - Judy Goss on her "Greatest Dad."
24:38 - Let's get connected and contact info!
JUDY: Thank you for that! Well, the concept of Over 40 Females really started when I was at More Magazine and I became so passionate about the women and the need for women to have an outlet to tell their story. So, not only was I doing TV on my own for my own things, but I just saw that need and I figured if I could create a company and use those media contacts to try to get to my original goal get them promoted on newspapers, blogs, on TV…and I’ve been very successful with hundreds of members getting their own press. That is my mission: just get women chances with my contacts and my opportunities that they wouldn’t normally get themselves.
SONDRA: Well, that’s the thing about networking, right? You can’t get anywhere alone and you have to be able to rely on the resources that other people have put so much time and energy into building. If you don’t mind, I’d kind of like to touch on a subject on a topic that you hear sometimes, mostly from men in my experience, that women are not willing to share resources; that it’s women who are kind of cutthroat in the industries regardless of what your industry is. In my personal experience, I don’t find that at all. I find that women are willing to share their resources and eager to in fact. Do you ever experience that especially in your line of work where you feel women are kind of hoarding their resources because it took them so much work to get it or is it kind of a generous community?
JUDY: Well maybe the men are saying that perhaps because the women are holding it back from the men. But, I have experienced also the same thing as you that when we get together, there is a general overall community and willingness to help each other. I’ve particularly found this with women over the age of 40, that’s why I wanted to start getting them together with a company like Over 40 Females.
SONDRA: So then I’m coming back to the spousal relationship focus within business. You balance all of the work that you do with having a family, you have a fabulous house, and how many children do you have?
JUDY: I have twin girls who are 10 and I have a stepson who is 23.
SONDRA: So you have your hands full and in television and film, the portrayals of strong women and their husbands is usually that one spouse is holding back the other spouse. As an important and strong woman like yourself, how do you balance your relationship with your husband so that you can be successful and do everything that you’re trying to do?
JUDY: Well I’m fortunate in the way that I don’t have to balance that because my husband is SO great and I know people are probably thinking like, “where does this guy come from?” But he is so supportive and he is my rock. He’s always pushing me and saying “don’t give up” and he’s always been the one to keep me going. And I know at times I’ve been the one to keep him going. I mean we went through a terrible time about six years with bankruptcy and foreclosure on our house and everything was going down the tubes and the twins were about four years old and even one Christmas they didn’t even get Christmas presents. I mean we could not give them presents. Fortunately, they were too young to realize what was going on…but I know that it goes both ways with us and I don’t have to find a balance because he’s so good about it and I think sometimes he’s so good that he balances me out, if that makes sense.
ZEF: It sure does. What about you, Sondra? That’s a great question even for you. I know with me and my relationship, we are opposites attracted. I have a great story, but let me hear your story first.
SONDRA: I met my man right at the end of college and we took a year to just postpone adulthood and then decided, “okay, we’re going to go build our own businesses” and for me it started in real estate and ended up transferring over to my personal concierge business. He is my biggest supporter without a doubt. It’s super flattering and have him just tell everyone that he knows that I’m the most amazing person. He knows I’m more capable of doing things than even I’m aware of. One of the things I appreciate most about JP is that he is actually able to smell things on me emotionally before I’m even able to acknowledge it. So he’ll be able to not predict, but sense my uncertainty before it’s totally hit me because I’m such an optimistic person that I’m always like, “it’s fine, it’s fine.” And he’s like, “no, I see something is happening with you. Not totally sure what it is” and he’s really good about just letting me know that he’s there and that he’s supporting me. We right now have difficulties making sure to see each other…so what we’ve had to do is make sure that we have Wednesday afternoons together. That’s our one part of the work where we get to just turn work off and be with each other. But I wanna hear your story!
ZEF: My story is…yeah. So for all you folks out there who have my kind of story, go back to Judy later and ask her for some tips because I’m sure she hears this quite often! My husband and I, we’re really opposites, and he’s really the quiet, introvert kind of person. You know, really grounded…he’s just very cautious about everything and here I am like, “hahahahaha go go go go go!” Then we started doing a business, probably fifteen years ago we started it together. It was such a trying time because we had to figure out, “What is his style? What is his process when it comes to business? What is mine?” Me, like you Sondra, was like “EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE.” He’s the one who keeps me grounded. He’s the one who’s the cautious one and says, “Listen, before you jump to any conclusion, think through it. What’s your pros and cons?” So he’s a geek by trait, he’s a computer guy by trait. Everything is 1-0. Everything is troubleshoot and answer, but you just need to learn the answer and get to that place. And as an extrovert I’m like, “No! I want the answer yesterday!” So, it’s such a challenge, especially in business. The most important thing is if you don’t understand how your other partner works and thinks, it could be a clashing point, but otherwise it took us 10 years to understand and realize our strengths and how we can complement one another.
So I’m sure Judy, going back to you asking you this question, I’m sure with Over 40 Females, you network with many women out there. You hear a lot of challenging stories. Some may be in business with a spouse and some may not, but what’s probably one good tip from your experience or a good story that you’ve heard on how we can leverage our spouses with business and really succeed?
JUDY: I’m not really sure because I haven’t really been in business with my spouse, but I think it’s a matter of realizing you two are different people. You have different goals. You have to really know who you are inside to start anything, to create anything. You have to love yourself to be in a relationship. You have to know yourself to start a career or business. And you really have to know who you are and be solid with yourself as a foundation before you start looking to your spouse or get in business with him. So, try not to judge your spouse or think that he’s going to do this or be this. I was married before and I always thought he was going to grow up or I always thought he was going to get a career…you can’t think you’re going to be great in business if you’re opposites. So don’t try to force something and know who you are inside so you can understand your spouse better.
ZEF: And I think don’t try to change them…don’t try to change your spouse if you’re in business with them. They have a style. You just need to know how you both can come together with your strengths and make it work.
SONDRA: It’s okay to walk away for just a moment, too.
JUDY: Don’t expect them to change and don’t try to change them.
SONDRA: Father’s Day is coming up. We like to honor that and talk about it a little. So first we’d like to wish all the fathers a happy Father’s Day. Judy, we’d like to ask you, what’s one thing about your husband that inspires you to be a better person and a better businesswoman?
JUDY: The patience that he has. It’s just incredible patience and this sense of calm. Now, he’s 10 years older than me so I feel like I always make the excuse that he’s been there and done that and he already kind of knows how to deal with it. But I feel like he was just born with it and it inspires me so much and I look over to him and I try to imitate his patience and the way he’s grounded with everything that I do.
SONDRA: You mentioned that you can have high energy and that your husband is very grounded and it’s helpful to have these complementary personality traits. I assume that’s one of the areas that’s contributing to the health of your relationship and I’m just wondering how else you and your husband complement each other.
JUDY: I think it’s that, honestly, that his personality trumps both of our personalities in a good way that he teaches me how to be almost more mature. Not that I’m immature, but I have this type-A, workaholic type of mentality and it takes me away from family and from myself. I’ve been working for the past couple of years going on this spiritual journey and I realize that he really “knows” something that I don’t know so I can really learn from him. I think that’s the way we really complement each other is that we learn from each other.
Thoughts and Tips: